


I've Got A Collar Full Of Chemistry From Your Company

by reindeerguardian



Series: Show Me Your Love [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Bullying, Homophobia, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, ZADF, ZaDr, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 12:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5584870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reindeerguardian/pseuds/reindeerguardian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why don't you just admit it Membrane, you're a queer, we all know it!" </p>
<p>In which Dib and Zim surprise each other and end up ln an awkward situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Got A Collar Full Of Chemistry From Your Company

It was a warm summer evening and fifteen year old Dib Membrane sat at the desk in his room, absentmindedly tapping a pencil to his lips in thought. He had been working on geometry homework, but had soon lost interest in it, instead favoring to doodle spaceships on a piece of notepaper. Every night he found himself staring at the stars before bed. One hand was working on the paper, the other held an ice pack to his left eye.  
Earlier that afternoon in the schoolyard, a group of boys had cornered him against a wall. He had been heading into the main building to interrogate a certain alien menace about the death threats left in his locker, (Zim had been unusually quiet lately, he had to have been up to something) but was quickly shoved back by a strong, brute force.  
“Heard you’re a faggot now,” One of Torque Smackey’s goons had sneered at him. Dib blinked at him in confusion.This was certainly previously unknown news to him.  
“Not that I can recall.” Dib chuckled lamely, trying to be funny. his humour was obviously lost on the boy. The kid had growled at this denial and hauled Dib up by the collar of his shirt.  
“Why don’t you just admit it, you’re a queer, Membrane, we all know it.” He crowed, glancing around at his buddies for affirmation. The other boys whooped in proclamation, eager to witness the last beatdown of the year before school let out for the summer. Dib stared at them all, wide eyed and speechless. He didn’t know what to say.  
“Admit it!” The goon yelled, fist pulled back, ready to strike. Dib made a helpless noise, shaking his head as best he could, bewildered. The bully’s eyes twinkled and he grinned maliciously, letting his fist fly directly into Dib’s face. He promptly dropped him, high fiving the other boys. They ambled off in peels of laughter, casting snickering glances back his way, calling out obscenities. Dib simply groaned and clutched at his face, struggling to stand up. They had knocked his glasses onto the ground. He feebly felt around for them with one hand. Five minutes passed and Dib huffed, climbing to his feet in defeat. He took a few steps, trying to discern which direction he was going. He promptly heard a crunch under his foot and groaned in frustration.  
At least he’d found his glasses.  
After that he’d stumbled home, in a half blind stupor. Upon entering the door he was met with Gaz grumbling about his late arrival. She’d handed him the ice pack currently held to his face, and said nothing more on the subject. He had started to stutter an apology, an explanation, but she simply ignored him, returning her attention to her game. Dib sighed and had headed upstairs.  
And now here he was. Doodling stars on his math homework. Not that it really mattered; he passed all his classes with flying colors no matter if he turned his homework in or not. The work wasn't very challenging but he did it to keep up appearances and please his father. Dib stared at the paper. What a start to his summer vacation. Why had those boys accused him of being a homosexual? Not that Dib minded; he knew there was nothing wrong with it. It was only another thing that added to the long list of why people didn't like him. But it wasn't true. Sure Dib didn't take an interest in pursuing girls like every other high school boy, but that didn't mean he was out pursuing boys either. Dib couldn't recall the last time he had actually looked at another human being with interest, regardless of gender. He was usually too busy with Zim.

There was the ear splitting sound of glass shattering behind him, followed by a shout of exclamation in a language he didn't understand, but was familiar to hearing. Dib wheeled around, trying to focus on the scene before him. Which wasn’t easy with one eye banged up and his glasses broken.  
Zim, his long time alien arch rival, had broken into his room through the window. The Invader let out a string of what Dib assumed to be obscenities in his mother tongue, picking glass out of his uniform. Dib stared at him in surprise for a moment before shaking his head to clear it from his stupor. (which didn't help his pounding headache in the least.)  
“What are you doing?” Dib hissed, not at all in the mood for Zim and his shenanigans. True he hadn't seen the alien for a few days, which spelled trouble, but he had other problems besides Zim. The alien seemed to realize that he wasn't alone and immediately regained his composure, arms behind his back, feet apart, head up; a battle stance. He visibly relaxed when he took in the sight of Dib.  
“Boy, are you a mess.” Zim snickered, plopping himself down on Dib’s bed as though he had been there a million times before. The punch to his face must have really rattled things in Dib's brain, because the thought of Zim and his bed were provoking feelings in him that should not have ever seen the light of day. Dib jumped up in an attempt to bury the thought deep, deep down.  
“Yeah well…” Dib paused and looked the alien up and down to find something to combat him with. “At least I don't have glass in my wig.” He countered, standing with his arms crossed defiantly. The muscles in Zim’s face contorted, giving a look of what could translate to a raised eyebrow on his eyebrowless face.  
“Fair enough.” he chuckled at Dib's obvious discomfort, plucking a shard of glass from his wig.  
“What are you doing here, Zim?” Dib sighed tiredly. He really just wanted to go to bed. It had been a tiring day. Zim’s face immediately lost his grin and he looked everywhere that wasn't Dib.  
“I heard you were given the ‘Beatdown Of A Century’.” Zim air-quoted quietly. He tilted his chin up and was suddenly on his feet, inspecting Dib’s injured eye, bringing their faces close together.  
“It's not that bad.” Zim commented, “The way the males celebrated, I assumed you at least had a broken limb. Tallests, I’ve done worse to you than this.” He chuckled. Dib felt his face heating up at the alien's up close inspection. He could feel Zim’s breath brushing his face. He cleared his throat awkwardly.  
“They were...celebrating?” Dib asked, not doubting it for a moment. Zim nodded slowly, as though in thought.  
“They broke your optical enhancers, I assume?” He asked, tilting his head a bit. Dib blinked for a moment with his good eye.  
“Oh! My glasses, yeah. Punched ‘em right off my face.” He laughed slightly, leaving out the part where he had blindly stepped on them himself. Zim seemed to be considering something.  
“....I have your spare pair.” He confessed with a reluctant growl. Dib stared at him for a few seconds, not comprehending.  
“My spare? I thought I had lost them! My dad almost killed me for that, Zim!” Dib cried, exasperated. Zim rolled his contact covered eyes.  
“I highly doubt your parental unit would kill you.” he snorted. “And if he did, that’d just be yet another victory for Zim!” He laughed. Dib sighed in angry defeat. He eyed the Irken warily.  
“So...can I have them?” He asked begrudgingly. “The spare?” He clarified after Zim gave him a look of confusion.  
“Eh? Oh! Yes. That is why I brought it up, isn't it?” He hissed defensively. Dib put his hands up in defense. Zim’s mouth tightened suddenly.  
“They are….in my base.” He sighed, running a hand through his false hair, debating whether or not to take the human with him. “Ah, screw it. It’s not like you haven't been in my base before.” He hissed angrily. Dib glanced at his laptop. He had security cameras hooked up in Zim’s base. But Zim didn't have to know that, he concluded with a flush. Zim made a move to jump out the shattered window but jumped back at Dib’s shout of refusal.  
“Can we just go out the front door, for once?” Dib cried. The alien groaned in annoyance but followed him downstairs anyway. They both glanced towards Gaz, who sat on the couch playing her Game Slave.  
“Gaz, I’m going to Zim’s. I’ll be back later.” Dib called responsibly. Zim bolted out the door with a startled yelp as Gaz looked up at them irately. She flashed what Dib constituted as a grin.  
“Have fun with your boyfriend, Dib.” Dib’s eyes widened in shock.  
“He is not my boyfriend! Don't say that!” He hissed angrily. The predatory look on Gaz’s face was enough to have him flinch back. He promptly shut the door behind him.  
They walked for the first ten minutes to Zim’s house in relative silence. It wasn't every day you went for a stroll through town with your worst enemy. If they could really call each other enemies at this point. Actually, their relationship had a lot less hostility than it had once held, but they weren't exactly friends in the least. Much less boyfriends. What did Gaz know? Dib wondered briefly if Irken were even capable of feelings like friendship. Or love. He grit his teeth in annoyance.  
“So.... this is great.” Dib sighed, trying to break the silence and shake his train of thought. “ I’ll be able to see out of one eye at least.” He half joked. Zim eyed him from the side.  
“I could heal your injury, y’know.” He murmured. Dib sucked in a breath in surprise. He was about to inquire on Zim’s sudden kindness towards him, when they arrived at the Irken’s poorly designed base. He gave the lawn gnomes a wary glance; he still carried a scar on his left calf from one of them. But Zim simply walked straight up the sidewalk to the front door, Dib trailing quietly behind.  
The interior to Zim’s home was no different than it had been the day he landed on Earth. Gir sat on the couch, staring at the television. When he noticed Dib, the little robot broke into a wide grin, waving at him fervently.  
“Hi!” Gir shrieked before bursting into a fit of giggles. Dib waved back slightly. Zim ignored his SIR unit completely and they traveled down into the lab.  
No matter how many times Dib came down here, it still fascinated him to no end. He silently cursed his hindered eyesight. There was so much to see. He could just make out one of his surveillance cameras hidden in the wall. Zim glanced at him, curiously following his gaze but Dib quickly stalled him by pointing at a device to the right that looked like a fishing hook attached to a robotic arm from the ceiling.  
“Hey uh, what’s that?” Dib asked. Zim looked at the contraption and broke into a wide, sharp toothed grin.  
“Perhaps you will have the honor of someday finding out.” He chuckled with malice. Dib swallowed nervously. Zim promptly spun around, going to a nearby wall. He waved his hand in front it and a small opening appeared, almost like a cabinet door. He reached inside and pulled out, low and behold, Dib’s spare pair of glasses. He handed them to the human with visible reluctance.  
“Why did you take them?” Dib asked, placing the glasses on his face. He could now see the alien plainly with his one good eye. Zim shrugged.  
“Just to bug you.” He said nonchalantly. He seemed to remember that the human’s other eye was wounded and fished around a nearby desk for something that looked like a laser pointer to Dib. Zim pushed on one end and the other end began to light up faintly, before fizzing out. Zim made a displeased clicking sound.  
“We’ll have to go up to the roof.” He said thoughtfully. “Computer! Take us to the roof!” He shouted. The computer gave a groan of annoyance. Dib’s brow furrowed. He was pretty sure there wasn't anywhere for them to stand on the roof. It was practically a vertical slant. Before he could voice this however, the ground underneath them shook violently. Dib gave a shout of surprise as the ceiling rushed up to meet them. He braced himself for an impact but it never came. The ceiling had opened to reveal the ground level of the house. This repeated until the platform they stood on was a part of the roof. On either side of them was the slanted tile of the original roof, with their small circular platform raised to the middle. Dib whistled, impressed.  
“Yes, yes. Marvel at the superior technology of Zim!” The Irken boasted. Dib rolled his eyes.  
“Why did we have to come up here?” He asked, slightly irritated. Zim blinked and seemed to remember his task. He held up the laser pointer.  
“This runs on solar energy.” He stated. Dib glanced at the sun. It had began to set already. Zim noticed this as well. “So we better make this quick.” He added. He quickly pressed the end facing him. The other end began to glow, reminding Dib vaguely of a cigarette. The glow slowly became brighter as Zim pointed it towards Dib’s eye. Dib began to panic. What if this was a trap? A trick to slay the enemy? He did not want Zim pointing some kind of unknown alien technology at his face. Zim seemed to sense his mistrust and he clicked in annoyance.  
“Believe me, Dib-filth, if I wanted to kill you I would have done it already. This device is painless.” He stated plainly. Suddenly a beam of light shot out of the lit end of the pointer directly into Dib’s bruised eye. He gave a startled sound, but true to Zim’s word he didn't feel any pain. Zim was bent, once again, very close to Dib’s face, watching the procedure carefully. Dib stared back with his good eye; he could just barely make out the red of Zim’s eyes behind his contact lenses. He wondered for a moment if the alien thought anything of personal space. After a few more seconds, Zim pulled away, clicking the laser off the same way one would a pen. Dib blinked a few times and, miraculously, he could see just as though he'd never been punched in the first place. In fact, it seemed his vision in his left eye was better than it had been in his whole life. He sat stunned.  
“You healed my eye.” He said in wonder. Zim rolled his in response.  
“That was the point, wasn't it?” He growled. Dib shook his head in bewilderment.  
“No I mean….you fixed my eye…to the point I wouldn't have to wear glasses if they were both like this.” He breathed. Zim looked amused.  
“I could heal the other one, too.” He offered. Dib stared at him for a long time. His brow furrowed as he looked at the setting sun, and back to Zim. Zim, his enemy. Zim, the alien invader sent to destroy everything he held dear. Zim, whom he thought he would die before ever receiving help from.  
“Why are you being so nice to.me?” He asked quietly. Zim blinked in surprise. He was silent for a moment before letting out a sigh. He pulled the wig off his head and slumped to sit on the platform. He was quiet again for a long time. Dib sat next to him, their legs dangling over the side of the platform. Zim pulled off his contacts with a tired sound. The sun was set, and the stars were beginning to show. Zim stared up at them almost longingly with such reverence that Dib almost felt as though he were intruding on the aliens private actions. Like he had been caught seeing something he shouldn't have.  
“You remind me of myself. Many planetary orbits ago.” Zim confessed, not taking his eyes off of the sky. This was not something Dib expected to hear.  
“I do?” He asked in surprise. The Irken nodded.  
“I too was an object of ridicule in my smeethood. Often picked on and outnumbered. Cowards wouldn't dare face me in a fair fight.” He growled. “But Irken are not trained to fight fair. We are trained to conquer, through any means necessary.” Dib was silent, unsure if Zim was going to continue. “Invader training is rigorous. In fact, many do not make it out alive. But I did.” Zim’s ruby red eyes were shining at the memory. “I graduated top of my class,” he breathed. “I went on to become a successful scientist on Irk. An outstanding invader. Perhaps if I had grown a bit taller I could have….” Zim trailed off. He shook his head and looked back at Dib. “My Tallests have cut off contact with me.” He said slowly. “They said…I am…defective…that my mission was only a ploy to get rid of me. I was not supposed to find a planet to conquer. I was supposed to die.” Zim stared at Dib for a few minutes, the light had gone from his eyes. Dib grew increasingly uncomfortable under his sad gaze.  
“Zim…...I’m so sorry…” Dib said slowly, unsure of how to address him. This must be why Zim hadn't been around lately. He was moping.  
“Yes, well, victory for Earth,” Zim chuckled tiredly. “You win. By default, of course.” He sniffed. “Because Zim is not an invader anymore.” The little alien looked so sad, Dib thought he might cry. If Irken were capable of tears.  
“So what?” Dib said suddenly, startling the alien. “Who cares what your leader think? You're a million miles away from them now, you can do whatever you want! You don't have to listen to anyone. You're a free man!” Dib exclaimed. Zim only shook his head.  
“An Irken without a mission is hardly an Irken at all. Banishment is the worst fate that could possibly befall a soldier. Worse than death. Especially on such a primitive planet. You can't even travel past your moon.” Zim sighed. Dib swallowed. Without a mission, Zim would leave, wouldn't he?  
“Well….who says you need Irk to take over the planet? Why not just do it for yourself and prove them wrong?” Zim looked at him and gave a weary grin.  
“Perhaps you're onto something, human.” He smiled. Dib looked at him. Zim really was beautiful. The moonlight reflecting off of his green skin made it clear just how alien he was. His large red eyes reflecting light, giving them a glowing aura. Dib swallowed nervously, not for the first time today.  
“I beat up those humans.” Zim confessed.  
“The….the bullies?” Dib asked. Zim nodded in affirmation.  
“Nobody gets to harm you except me.” He said, deadly serious. Dib laughed awkwardly. No one had ever defended him before. Not even Gaz, the only person he would have ever half-expected to. He was touched.  
“I think you're really great, Zim.” Dib admitted. He could feel his face heating up and silently thanked his lucky stars for the darkness. Zim blinked at him in confusion.  
“You hate me.” He stated. Dib cleared his throat.  
“Well. I don't like your mission. It does involve destroying my homeworld and everything i love. But...you as a person? You're loyal and devoted and perserverant. You're intelligent and strong and clever,” Dib turned his body to face Zim’s, head on. “You're beautiful.” He finished with a rushed breath. Zim stared at him, antenna twirling in thought. He seemed to be studying the human.  
Dib looked into Zim’s huge red orbs. They were so unlike anything he’d ever seen before. He found himself leaning forward, placing one hand on the side of Zim’s face before moving a bit closer to kiss him. He kissed the alien softly, their mouths seemed to be slightly more different than he anticipated. He was smooth and cool to the touch. Zim gave a noise of surprise, pushing Dib away with a start.  
“This is….a human mating ritual.” Zim said, squinting his eyes in confusion. Dib blushed, looking at the ground.  
“Not...exactly…” He mumbled. Zim made a clicking sound of realization.  
“I know what this is.” He said,”You have romantic feelings for Zim!” He said triumphantly. Dib suddenly couldn't breathe. He tried to stutter out an explanation, but Zim just laughed, long and loud. Dib deflated, his hurt slowly turning to anger. He could feel tears pricking in his newly restored eyes. He stood up quuckly.  
“Damn it Zim!” Dib yelled. “Take me down!” he wiped tears from his eyes. “I want to go home!” Zim stopped laughing and looked at Dib with a small, sad smile, getting up from his position to join Dib in standing.  
“I didn't mean to hurt your feelings,” The alien chuckled, seeming sincerely apologetic. “But Irken do not have the capacity for such romantic feelings. We don't need them.” He paused. “And you are a very young Earthling.”  
“I’m fifteen!” Dib interjected, outraged.  
“I am many, many years your senior, Dib. I believe that is illegal on this planet, yes?” Dib stared at him in disbelief. Since when did age matter to an alien?  
“Yeah well, since when do you care about human laws? My age never stopped you from trying to kill me.”  
“Because that was part of my mission. A threat to my operation must be stopped, no matter the cost.” Zim said, matter of factly. He paused. “And...this….” He said, gesturing between the two of them, “Is not part of my mission.” Dib looked at him for a long time in silence.  
“But….your mission...wasn't real…?” Dib struggled to find the logic behind the alien’s reasoning. Zim shrugged.  
“If it wasn't then, then it is now. On my own terms.” Zim’s eyes gleamed with determination. He gave Dib an apologetic look. “So, quite frankly human, we must stick to being enemies. That's how this whole thing works. I try to take over the Earth, you try to thwart me.That's the way it's gotta be until one of us dies.” He was staring at Dib for affirmation. “This...romantic pursuit of Zim just doesn't fit. Do you understand?” He was very quiet with this last bit.  
Dib nodded slowly. He understood. But that didn't make things hurt any less. He wanted to go home.  
“Take me home, Zim, please.” He muttered tiredly. Zim pursed his lips and said nothing more to him.  
“Computer, take us back to the lab.” He ordered.  
Dib walked home alone in the dark. He couldn't bring himself to look up at the stars. He opened the front door and glanced towards the couch, where he had last seen Gaz. She wasn't there. The sound of the refrigerator door slamming shut confirmed her whereabouts in the kitchen. She walked out with a can of soda in her hand, glancing at him with a raised eyebrow.  
“You look worse than you did when you left.” She observed. Dib sighed. And plopped himself onto the couch. Gaz sat next to him, a good foot of space between them, of course.  
“So what happened?” She asked, popping open her soda can. “You confess your undying love for Zim or something?” Dib’s apparent silence was something of an answer and Gaz looked at him strangely.  
Under her scrutinizing gaze he mumbled out, “Something like that.” She sipped her soda in thoughtful surprise.  
“I’m assuming it didn't go over well.”  
He shook his head slowly. Gaz sucked in a breath and sighed.  
“Well Dib, he is an alien. I don't know what you expected out of him.”  
“I kissed him.” Dib admitted. Gaz groaned.  
“Shit, Dib.” She murmured.  
“I know.”  
Gaz shrugged. “Oh well. Live and learn. At least now you don't have to pine over him and wonder ‘what if’. Things can just go back to normal. You can both go back to your idiotic routine.” She said, picking up the remote and turning on the TV. Dib stood up and stretched.  
“Thanks Gaz” He said quietly. He heard her hum in response before he headed upstairs.  
Dib bypassed the shower, deciding to deal with that in the morning. He was exhausted, both emotionally and physically. He dropped into bed like a stone, giving his laptop a glance. He hauled it up into his lap and hesitated before activating the security cameras set up in Zim’s base. There were four screens, one was occupied by Gir, who was chewing on a cardboard box.Two were blank, the last showed Zim in his lab. Dib put in his headphones and activated the audio.  
“Computer,” Zim was saying, “What can you tell me about human romance?” He seemed apprehensive.  
“Perhaps I am defective. I should not feel pity for The Dib.” The alien murmured.  
Dib decided he didn't want to see the rest and quickly closed his laptop, setting it on his desk beside him. A chill drifted into the room from the busted window and Dib groaned in realization that he’d have to explain that to his father. He drew the blankets around him tighter.  
Tomorrow he would go back to thwarting Zim’s evil plans, just like always. Just as though today had never happened. He rolled onto his side and decided, for the first time in a long time, to not look at the stars before falling asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Invader Zim.  
> The series and its entries titles are from "Collar Full" by Panic! At The Disco.


End file.
